Hurting inside…
After a heartbreaking incident last weekend, I thought I managed to move on. But it seems that I still couldn’t forget what happened. I’m still hurting inside and I don’t know when things will be better. I know eventually they will. I tried to do the usual things and it somehow helped me a little bit. But when I’m alone and missing, the pain would surface again.
So much for the drama, I’m trying to get it out of my head by having a different daily routine. Yes, that would include my diet for one. I have been eating like a pig for the past weeks. No wonder I gained at least 7 lbs. Oh yeah, I am one of those women (I can’t believe I called myself a woman! hahaha!) who gains weight easily and takes a lot of effort to lose it. So I decided a change of attitude must be done. I also made it a point to at least go for a bike ride everyday. I don’t need to go long distance. Just get my legs used to the routine, enjoy the beautiful landscape of Minnesota and at the same time enjoying my solitude.
Of course, taking care of oneself is not only a physical matter. It is about taking care of your entire being…physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Last weekend, I was able to find a Catholic Church in our neighborhood. The good part is, it is less than a mile from where we are living right now. For the past weeks, I had not been the spiritual person I used to be. But finding this church will definitely bring me back to my practice.
It is amazing how bad things bring better things in our life. It’s ironic huh? But whatever bad thing happened last weekend, it has made me a better person. It has changed my attitude towards a lot of things, made me more wise and it has definitely given me a different perception on life, love and myself.
Jacy,
I am sorry you are hurting sweety. I am too right now. I will
pray for you and you pray for me and we will find healing.
I know what you mean about not being the spiritual person
you used to be. I think I’m not either. I went to the Catholic
church for 18 yrs and left after the fiasco with the priests.
I have thought of going back lately but I won’t because I
know I will not be accepted there.
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Hello Deb!
It is nice to know that I have you and you have me to pray for each other. I know these hurt will eventually heal. I always believe that time does heal.
The fiasco you mentioned definitely hurt the Church and its people. It hurts me too but it did not make turn my back to my Catholic faith. Don’t think you will not be accepted there if you come back. The Catholic Church is inspired by the virtue of mercy and they will accept you with open arms just like the story of the Prodigal Son, remember?
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jacy,
you don’t know this but now that i went and opened
my big mouth i guess i should tell you. i am a lesbian
sweety. the catholic church looks at people like me
as defective. that’s why i said i would not be
accepted. i hope my telling you this doesn’t
change our friendship. i don’t think it would but
it’s a concern anyway. i’ve faced a lot of
discrimination in my life, for this and because
of disability.
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Debbie,
I have many gay friends and a couple lesbian friends back home. Having a different sexual orientation than mine doesn’t make you a lesser person. I in fact admire you for being truthful to me. It means a lot! You know you can always count on me… no matter what. Like i always tell you, I will be here….
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Jacy,
Thanks. That means a lot to me. I’ve thought recently
about going back to Holy Spirit and attending mass again.
I wouldn’t have to say anything to anybody there. Don’t
really have a reason to anyway. But it’s very hard to
have to hide who you are. Always covering your steps
and watching yourself so you don’t give yourself
away. There are times and places I can be out
but a lot of times not.
Deb
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Deb,
I understand how hard it can be. Just be yourself. You are not obligated to say anything to anyone. As long as you’re comfortable with what you are and keep the faith. ‘coz even if I’m a Catholic, I believe that God loves us and accepts us unconditionally.
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i too am experiencing spiritual dryness…..and i feel that something is missing and messing……thanks for this entry jays…….you make me realize that i need to connect to my superior……my God and my creator and receive Him again through the Holy Communion….but before that i should bend my knees and go to confession! Do pray for me as i pray for you!
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you are always in my prayers. being once again connected to our Creator made me also feel that I am connected to my family no matter how far they are from me.
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jacy,same here i struggle on a day to day basis about my weight.since i had the baby 8 months ago tomorrow i have not been able to get rid of the small pouch in my tummy,waaaaaa!!!! kapoy ayo ug hiyak.i use to loose eat like a horse back then when i was younger and still stayed as skinny as a bean pole but no more.i have to be careful of what i eat now.
sakto na imu g buhat jacy having a routine and exercise will do your mind and body good.
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hello Lods!
i think you’re still slim. but that baby pouch will have to go away if you have any. we’re getting older and our metabolism doesn’t seem to function as efficient as it used to. but you know what i think? when Kaitlyn will start walking, you will get your figure back. so, save those energy to chase her around the house.
i miss talking to you. thank you for dropping by here.
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hey girl J… I hope you are going okay by now.. I used to go on biking for 4, 6, 8 and one time 10 miles on a rough and hilly road.. waaaaa so exhausting and felt like I don’t wanna go back and do it anymore.. end up so sore but then ater that it made me feel so good sweating and not guilty since I know it is good for me not just to look sexy or whatever. hehehe… I remember Tim told me once that whenever you feel like your hungry, instead of heading towards the kitchen and looking for something to eat, go for a walk outside or biking, or running, or whatever sort of exercises you feel like doing. Then later on you won’t be hungry anymore but more on like thirsty. I did it before and it worked. Right now I am prego well, baby is my main priority. hehehe.. But I told myself, the moment I am allowed to go back exercising, I wanna prove it that I can still loose weight and be better than I used to. hehehe.. hala oi kataas sa akoa chika.. waaaa sowie! Just miss talking to you girl. God Bless.
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hello Adin!
i missed you girl. no wonder you had great figure kay you are so determined to remain fit. as for me, there are definitely times that i get lazy uy. my routine has changed since we move here. there’s no biking anymore as i don’t have my own bike yet. i was thinking of doing some walks but it’s lonely when you do it alone. i can only do it when Travis is back from work and I’m not cooking.
i’m sure girl that after you deliver your baby, you will get back your old figure again. ikaw pa?! take care and love ya!
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Well, I hope I can make it though but I know I have a motivation cause I can’t picture myself looking so ugly and fat.. waaaaaaa please no way! hahaha mobo raba ko mura nya ko ug baril ani.. was anggay oi! hehehe Wish me luck.. I was too before I get lazy but thanks to Tim who’s always here to give back my motivation.. mao lagi laay man ug ikaw ra gud usa magbaktas dili pod ta ma lingaw and ma inspired. hehehe.. well, you look good girl J anyway so don’t worry! Love yah girl and talk to you later.
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it’s was nice getting in touch with you again, Adin. i’m sure you’ll get your nice figure back since you have a very supportive husband. TS is supportive too only that he supports me to eat a lot. hehehe!
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