Pursuing Happiness
Man existed to pursue his own happiness. We are motivated to do something because it will make us happy. We tend to make decisions with happiness at the back of our heads. Just like in Marriage, we marry the person who we think will give us the feeling of happiness. We marry someone who makes us feel good about ourselves. Our daily actions are directed to our ultimate goal of being happy.
I have always been a selfless person. Tatay and Nanay (my father and mother) taught me that. I put everyone else especially my significant others ahead of me. My happiness rely on them. If they are happy, then I am happy. It was a big mistake.
For the past days, as different encounters start to unravel, I have realized that my happiness does not depend on other people’s happiness. It should come from within and let it shine to others. I have the capacity to pursue my happiness and I will do just that.
I will be happy because I can.
jacy,
i am very touched by this blog and glad to know you learned this lesson
at such a young age. it took me years and years to learn it but i am
glad i did. it’s amazing the burden that falls off from you when you realize
this.
we are the only ones who can make us happy. i also learned not
to pursue happiness or rely on it staying when it is there. if you
pursue happiness it will elude you. i don’t look for happiness either.
i try to have joy which is a deep inner contentment and satisfaction
but not happiness. happiness is fickle!
luv u
lildeb
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another thing: i spent most of my life putting everyone else first.
that didn’t work and in the end i had to learn how to take care
of myself. i felt selfish for awhile doing things for just myself
but actually it’s a necessary and good thing to do.
hugz
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Deb,
you made me ponder with your reply. and yes, you are right. joy emanates from within and if we don’t get contented or satisfied, we’ll lose it and even lose ourselves.
i remember what my sister told me, we cannot give what we do not have. let’s start from ourselves even if it will mean selfishness because once we have achieved it, we will then be able to share it.
i miss you!
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jacy,
i spent a lot of years taking care of everybody but myself only to find
out that i wasn’t happy, even after putting my relationship with God
and everyone else first. i learned that instead of God first and everybody
else second (which leaves no time for self) it’s really a delicate balance of
all three. i found out that there are times when putting ourselves first
is absolutely necessary for self preservation. for instance, in my relationship
with my mom (adopted mom-we were taken away from the 1st one) it is
absolutely necessary for me to maintain a huge amount of space and distance.
i have to do this in order to maintain a positive self image and avoid the
negativity. there is hardly a time i can talk to her that i don’t come away
hurt so i just don’t do it at all. at any rate, they’ve pretty ignored me for
quite a long time now. i have a lot of reasons not to be happy, but joy
i can find even if it’s hard sometimes.
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after my hubby died, i had no idea what to do to take care of me!
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Even God dont want that we will please Him…..He just want simple thing…..that is to love him.
With our family background…..though our parents didnt ask us to pay them back what it is that they gave, it is at the back of our minds that we are oblige to make them happy…..but now that i am a mother myself…..the only thing that i want for my kids is to make them happy and to teach them the real source of happiness……Trying in my own way letting them know what is important and at their early age i want them to decide for themselves…..those decissions that will make them happy and if it doesnt i am giving them the assurance that mama and papa will always be there to support and if they need help. WE are still learning and we are doing just right guy! Good thing that you’ve expexperienced this particular feeling and be thankful because in this chaotic feeling you will sooon find peace and understanding!
i love you day….. and yes lets start within ourselves and be thankful to our God that he made us special…….specially for the wonderful gift of realizations!
Go, get up and pick up those confidence, guts, and the charm that you have…..dont let it be darken by those insecurities ( Bohol’s dont have a room for that! ) * wink *
love you day! remember we will be here to support and when you need help….usa sad ka akong baby sa?
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Mama Rem,
I am overwhelmed with so much happiness right now. For one, the good news that Linus brought to us today and then now, this touching message from you. I will definitely draw strength from your message and I have not forgotten what you told me that we can’t give what we do not have.
Thank you for the love and the support that you never failed to show me. I am so blessed! I love you my family Beckers!
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Hello Jacy!
“we can’t give what we do not have.”
I will surely not forget that statement. I like the way what you have wrote. I have come to realized that happiness will always be there, dont find nor look for it because we might end up completely unsatisfied. Just go with the flow and always thank God for all the blessings. Take care girl!
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Hi Haze!
Your reply and the rest of the replies have brought me to a reflection. And it is through this that we realize the better things in life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It means so much to me.
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Don’t change just to make everybody else happy. People will love you for your true happy self.
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Hi Jacy,
Happiness has a million meanings to different persons, it is not the quest to being happy that makes life worth living, it is the sudden and unexpected knowledge that sometimes happiness is all around you in small little things and details…Joy is sometimes cloacked into all day small things, which will reveal their importance at a certain time in the lifepath… whatever happiness is for you… I’m convinced you spread it just by being yourself.
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Jacy Reply:
November 24th, 2008 at 11:00 am
what a pleasant surprise! your commeny in my blog actually makes me happy. how have you been?
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Believe it or not I just stumbled on your blog… just by googling “simply me” I am happy to see that U R doing allright. That means a lot to me.
I am allright I guess… busy as always.
You put a smile on my face when I read your blog…you haven’t changed and I thank God for that. Take care always.
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Jacy Reply:
November 25th, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Life is too short to be just about making money. I hope that is not the case for you. I hope when you said that you’re busy it means spending lots of time with your family and most of all giving yourself the break it deserves.
I have changed a little bit, Phil. You may not have noticed it yet. However, I have changed for the better. Too many experiences and adventures in life that molded me into a person that I am now. I’m still the good ol’ friend that you had and I’m glad you keep in touch once again.
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